Eroimo Typhoon! ~Mizu mo Shitataru Eroero Imouto-tachi to Yukemuri Onsen Burari Yokujou Ryokou! (エロいもタイフーン! ～水も滴るエロエロ妹達と湯けむり温泉ぶらり欲情旅行!) Review

From what I can dig up, the earliest galgame goes back to 1982 — roughly 30-odd years of history at this point. Over that long haul, under the core premise of “attract male players with cute girls,” the art and styles have changed again and again, and the elements have piled up, but one thing has never changed: the big-breasted character always shows up. You could say that for today’s eroge, “no CV? Fine. No OP? Fine. No systems? Fine. But no big breasts? Unthinkable.” Big breasts have become the last-resort trump card for plenty of galgame makers on the verge of going under, as if whipping out the big-breast element alone will bring them back from the dead.

So what exactly is the appeal of big breasts? Why must a galgame have a big-breasted character? Today let’s grab a recently released game and spend 7-plus-7 minutes figuring out why.

The game I’m using as an example today is Eroimo Typhoon! ~Mizu mo Shitataru Eroero Imouto-tachi to Yukemuri Onsen Burari Yokujou Ryokou!. Long title, thin contents — and as an analysis of what big breasts actually do in a game, it’s painfully typical.

Before I get to this one, let me introduce its two predecessors. The game comes from the company MiLiMiLi, a brand under AmuseCraft that specializes in loli and little-sister material. They put out the first game in July 2018:

Eroimo Hurricane! Idol no Imouto ga Erokute Erokute Ore no Risei ni Arashi no Yokan!?

It’s about the protagonist and his two little sisters doing lewd stuff. Stories like that are a dime a dozen, obviously, and the game got basically no reception. Undeterred, MiLiMiLi released another one that December:

Eroimo Cyclone! Uzumaku Eroero wa Imouto wo Chuushin ni Kyuusoku Kakudai-chuu!

Compared to the previous game, the big selling point here was a new character — and unlike the original two flat-chested sisters, this one has huge breasts!

The story was still garbage-tier, and the only difference from the predecessor was one busty heroine, but the game’s ratings went up.

Facts speak for themselves: the scores seem to rise in direct proportion to the heroines’ cup sizes, and the developers seem to have grasped this truth. Last month they put out the new game, the one I mentioned earlier:

Eroimo Typhoon! ~Mizu mo Shitataru Eroero Imouto-tachi to Yukemuri Onsen Burari Yokujou Ryokou!

Unfortunately, the cover still only has three sisters, and the setting has been switched to a “hot spring trip” — the protagonist and his three sisters go soak in the onsen, then screw in the onsen, and so on.

That premise is no different from your average porn flick, and the three heroines are identical to the previous game. Just as I was thinking the series had run dry, the hot spring landlady showed up:

Holy shit.

I have to admit the developers didn’t let me down. They really did grasp the truth that “bigger breasts, bigger selling point,” so they decided to inflate the landlady’s chest without limit — to the point where it just looks bizarre.

Once this landlady appears, she has already won the whole match. Every other sister character fades into nothing. I figure everyone’s like me, with that landlady permanently lodged in their head — a woman whose breasts are bigger than the other heroines’ entire bodies, making an orgasm face and talking in a soft little-sister voice. No amount of the sisters hyping themselves up could make me forget her.

Not because she can sing, dance, rap, or play basketball. Not because she’s beautiful or slutty, either. It’s because she:

Is impossible to look away from!

After that the game proceeds as usual: the protagonist screws his sisters in every configuration, and I remember none of it, because the whole time I was waiting to see whether the MC would get a round with the landlady…

“With a body like a kaiju, wouldn’t screwing her be like raping a T-rex?”

And I was disappointed. This game screws everything under the sun — except not a single hair on the landlady.

The game has plenty of content: you can pick the heroines’ outfits and nudity, there’s even gymnastics play. But who the hell cares! We want the T-rex — no, we want the landlady!

The game ended with a莫名其妙的 ending, and I think I finally understand why galgames must have big-breasted characters.

I used to think big-breasted characters were just extra erotic content to bait otaku. But once the scale keeps growing and reaches infinity, the game stops being erotic and becomes grotesque. That grotesque quality stirs the curiosity in all of us as human beings. Curiosity is the biggest driver of human progress — the survival factor carved into our genes that keeps us from going extinct. Without it, humanity has no future.

So: big breasts = humanity’s future. No flaws in that logic.

So what do you think? Why must galgames have big-breasted characters?

A. Big breasts = humanity’s future. B. Because there are a lot of fat otaku who love big breasts. C. Other.