Pre-Op Notes

Got screwed over by the nurses today

Went in for blood work at 6 a.m. and the woman drew three vials!! No wait, four!

They said a doctor would do rounds at 8, so the guy comes over, takes one look, goes “oh, sinusitis,” and leaves.

Then I got left on read in that bed until 11 a.m. I figured it was about time to eat, and right then a nurse walks in and says “don’t move, IV time!”

You couldn’t have stuck me at literally any other hour? Had to be lunchtime? So I got hooked up until 3 p.m.

And when it was done they left a bit of tubing in my hand, “so it’s easier next time.”

Then I’m told to go do the pre-op consult and nasal irrigation.

They inform me that after midnight the night before surgery I can’t eat or drink anything, which means I’ve got about 3 hours left to stuff my face.

After the surgery, apparently my upper body has to stay completely still and I have to lie there for 6 hours — no eating, no drinking, no swallowing spit, no sneezing, no pillow, no XX, no OO, no AA, no BB…

Meanwhile the nurse giving the briefing turns to me with a face gone completely dark and says: after surgery you’ll have a headache, dizziness, head pressure, dry mouth, blood in your spit, etc…

Finally they take me to the outpatient clinic for the pre-op nasal exam. Sprayed anesthetic first, except the idiot got some on my mouth and now my lips are numb. Then I sit there waiting, and half an hour later the stuff has worn off and it’s still not my turn, so the idiot sprays me again — and gets my mouth again, f***!

Had a look with the endoscope: sure enough, polyps inside, and they’re nearly blocking everything. Which raises the question of how I’ve been breathing through two nostrils the size of paper cuts this whole time.

Yesterday the ward could still pick up the yanke1 hotspot, today it’s gone. All that’s left is something called 1#BFL and I don’t know the password. So I’m stuck playing PSP, and from the looks of it, tomorrow while I’m lying there I won’t even be able to do that…

Surgery’s at 9 tomorrow morning, general anesthesia, out like the guy in the next bed…