Why Does an Eroge Studio's Next Game Have to Be an Eroge?

ALcot has been in a pretty rough spot these past few years. Apart from last year’s FD for the title they put out the year before, they’ve been completely quiet. Both the main studio and the side brand are basically dead in the water—everyone figured they were about to fold. Then, in the back half of last year, ALcot’s president Miyazo (宫藏) launched a crowdfunding campaign on Campfire, saying they wanted to do a “project where they invite the voice actresses of popular heroines from across ALcot’s catalog to sing OP and ED themes.” Strip away the dressing and it’s just a CD—a cover album, no less, where the singers happen to be various eroge voice actresses.

I didn’t care about this project at first. I mean, everyone knows who ALcot can get for its voice actresses — it’s either Toono or Kitami Rikka, right? But then I saw Kiritani Hana and Kurosaki Touko were in it, and I fucking paid up!

It was originally supposed to be finished this February, but then COVID happened and it got pushed back to now — it was only recently that it was actually, fully done. Alcot was at least honest about it, sending progress updates the whole way. Not like a certain Sendai obaachan who said she’d crowdfund a solo album and then spent every single update posting about what she ate that day, barely said a damn thing about the album itself, and wasn’t even diligent about updating the track list. I feel like I got played by that Sendai obaachan.

Now let’s get to the album itself. There are 17 tracks, or 16 if you don’t count the final group chorus. So I’m gonna go through them one by one—I’ve got nothing better to do, and I doubt you’ll find anyone else online reviewing an album like this. Since it’s a cover album, I’ll just judge the singing, so I’ll group the reviews by who’s performing.

1. Ai Shimizu — songs performed: “SHINE RING”, “Rebirth ∞ Impact”

The people behind this game are seriously killing me. I’d guess that out of all the ALcot games they’ve worked on, this is probably the only one that’s really famous—and yet it’s the one I never played. I remember how that perpetually horny old man Po kept pushing me to play Naka no Hito Nado Inai! back in the day; I figured everything he recommended was shit, so I skipped it. That said, the OP and ED really aren’t all that good. Both tracks are the standard “formulaic eroge song” type, and Aya Hirano’s vocals… honestly, they’re pretty average, maybe slightly below it, and she even sounds a tiny bit off-key in an effort to mimic the game’s character voices. Overall, though, they’re not bad—just passable.

2. Asuha Yomogi — Songs: “Hajimete no Koi yo Sakihokore!” and “Kimi wa Angel”

Seriously, who the hell is Asuha Yomogi? I searched forever and couldn’t find her real name to save my life. Any seiyuu nerds out there who know, please tell me. Anyway, the two songs she sings are one from Soshite Hatsukoi ga Imouto ni Naru and one from Kanojo wa Tenshi de Imouto de, and I bailed on both. Reason being, halfway through I found out Moezu had fan-translated them, and the moment I saw what they’d named the translation I got so grossed out I just didn’t want to play anymore…

The reasoning is bullshit, but I did listen to this game’s OP and ED anyway. They felt just as assembly-line as the rest — hard to remember much of anything.

Honestly, Asuha Yomogi’s singing is decent enough — she stays on pitch, which already puts her ahead of 80% of doujin singers and light-years past the likes of nayuta. Maybe the game just didn’t resonate with me much, because to my ears it’s so-so.

3. Hanazawa Sakura — song: “Nee, Arigatou”

I’ve really been hating Hanazawa Sakura lately, but thinking about it, she hasn’t actually done anything wrong. It’s just that her vocal range is too narrow—she’s always got that one voice—and she’s voiced a ton of slut characters, and those same slutty voices keep showing up in the lead heroine slot of pure-love works, which makes me uncomfortable. Honestly, as a voice actress of the new generation, Hanazawa Sakura has clearly trained her singing skills. This song is genuinely great—it could even rival the original. Or maybe it’s because she’s always got that one voice, so singing isn’t hard for her. She doesn’t need to force a falsetto?

Still, the ED of Shogun-sama wa Otoshigoro (将軍様はお年頃) is genuinely good — I’d give it an 80.

4. Aimi Fukada — Song: “Junjou Karen na Koi no Hana”

As Kiritani Hana’s plastic BFF — a.k.a. the Kagoshima drunkard, kimono maniac, cat slave… Fukada Mei should be working pretty hard, because you can see on YouTube that she’s been focused on small-theater performances the whole time. Whether it’s reading dramas, musicals, or stage plays, she keeps at it — completely unlike her plastic sister. So you can catch her not only in small-theater shows, but also in Saga Planets’ new work… No idea whether the money she earns all goes to her cats or all goes to booze.

Thanks to all that practice, her OP for Shogun-sama wa Otoshigoro (将軍様はお年頃) is actually pretty good. You can tell it’s her the moment she opens her mouth, and there’s a bit of vibrato in there too. With a little polishing and tuning she could pass for a doujin singer — at the very least it’s not unpleasant to listen to. Still, with a voice that distinctive, couldn’t she sing a few more songs?

5. Akino Hana — Song: “Boku no Tonari de Koi wo Shite!”

The OP from Kimi no Tonari de Koishiteru! The Respective Happiness, originally sung by Chata. Now, Akino Hana is technically a new-generation voice actress too, and her singing’s solid, but…

She dropped the beat right at the start of this song.

And it seems they didn’t fix it in post either. Whatever — at least she got through the song, so I’ll let it slide. Akino Hana didn’t go off-key, but the longer she sang, the more her voice turned all “Chata-ish,” which made it hard for her own character to stand out. By the end it felt like there wasn’t much difference from the original singer…

Whatever — Akino Hana sings so few songs that every extra one counts. I still don’t even know where to find that character song from Purely Cation.

6. Chihiro Sakurazaki (桜咲千依) — Song: “Atarashii Shirabe”

Honestly, this song is from Haru Kisou Limited Poco a Poco!, and it’s an ED, no less. I played that game, and yet I have absolutely zero memory of this ED. What the hell.

If anything, I have zero impression of that character voiced by Usa Fujisaki — apparently she was the writer’s favorite heroine.

And this song is genuinely painful to listen to. I remember Uesugi Uta using a fairly neutral voice in that game, and then in this song… she’s literally singing while pinching that voice shut!

And then that whole time this awkward voice keeps wandering somewhere between “on-key and off-key” — that weird feeling actually has a strange toxicity to it. This is probably the only song on the album I immediately wanted to replay the moment it ended.

7. Hisao - Song: “Encore”

Who’s the singer again… Hisei. I remember she voiced Putin — the Russian president at the time — in Osananajimi wa Daitouryou.

And it seems like it’s still Putin now. Whatever, not important.

Hyouka (氷青) has a singer background — she’s put out several albums — and then this song, well… emmmm…

After listening to it, I forgot who the original singer was.

8. Sakakibara Yui — “Akaneiro no Sora e”

The OP for Akaneiro no Kyoukaisen, sung by Sakakibara Yui. Emmmmm….

I forget who the original singer was.

And another thing — isn’t it kind of overkill for Alcot to get Sakakibara Yui to sing a song like this? How are other voice actresses supposed to compete? How are the ones I’m about to roast for not making the cut supposed to compete?

Oh, and by the way—remember the names of those scenario writers on Akane-iro no Kyoukaisen. Never play anything they wrote. Ninety-nine percent chance it’s a landmine.

9. Okajima Mei — Songs: “Hyakka Ryouran Phantasm”, “FairChild-VersionYUI11507-”

Everyone’s beloved Tohno Soyogi — the Tohno Soyogi whose voice acting is so damn lewd — turns out she can’t sing for shit. Of the Onigokko! OP versions I’ve heard so far, Nanjo Yoshino’s is still the best by a mile; guess that’s what being a pro gets you. Second place goes to the original singer, Marie. Tohno’s version is already so off-key it’s practically flying.

That second song should be the OP of an Alcot game from a few years back called FairChild. It sounds a bit better, but there’s still a ton of off-key singing whenever the melody turns — and the higher the note, the worse the pitch goes…

Of course, despite all that, I can still crush on Tohno Soyogi’s Yuuki-san!

10. Ono Ryouko — Song: “Aliare”

The OP for the most famous title in the bunch, Shunki Gentei Poco a Poco!, went to Kitami Rikka, who’s doing the best out of anyone here right now. On first listen it’s honestly not bad — way better than Toono, at least. But the more you listen, the more something feels off.

She sang this one in a lower key.

And then it got transposed down, and even so I couldn’t hit the high notes.

Not gonna lie, Ono Ryoko has aged too. I remember her singing being pretty good before—wait, actually she was never good at singing, was she? No idea why I had this hallucination that she could sing.

11, Atsumi Tanezaki / Ai Matayoshi — Songs: “Clover Day’s”, “Clover Heart’s -New Decade Edition-”

The singer I was looking forward to most is here. First off, “Clover days” OP1 “CloverDay’s” is actually pretty good — one line each, some proper harmonizing. But no matter how you listen, Aika Matayoshi (又吉愛) sounds better than Kiritani Hana. Then “CloverHeart’s-New Decade Edition” comes on and the two of them are singing in unison the whole way through, to the point where you can barely hear Kiritani Hana at all…

And why couldn’t they just have each person sing a line? That brings us to the last track on the disc, the chorus version of “CloverHeart’s,” with the whole voice cast singing together. It’s also a chorus, and it comes out sounding like ALcot KB 48 — you can’t pick out a single voice, and then it just ends for no apparent reason…

I figure they probably recorded this song by having each voice actress sing her part separately and then mixing it all together into a chorus at the end. And the Takakura sisters’ version was done the same way — really saving money there!

I actually paid money for this shit, and I feel played. What a scam! Couldn’t they at least give us a version where each girl gets a line, like Clover Day’s?!!

Tails:

In 2020, ALcot didn’t put out any new game. Instead they released a “music cover album,” and everyone figured ALcot must be going under—that’s why they’d stopped making games and done this instead. That album might well be ALcot’s swan song.

And what’s even more absurd: ALcot’s Campfire page actually includes a clause about “what should be done if our own company goes under during production.” Really looks like they’re flat broke.

Then after the album came out, I was bored and took a look at the crowdfunding tiers, and I was fucking floored:

Then I looked at the total amount again:

Holy shit, 22,839,276 yen. At that day’s exchange rate that’s 1.48 million RMB. There’s no way making a CD and some merch costs that much, right? That number is already a big profit by eroge market standards, isn’t it?

I honestly think ALcot doesn’t even need to make games anymore — they could just stick to this formula from here on out.

You could say the next release from an eroge studio doesn’t have to be an eroge — sometimes it’s just a CD.