Kemonomichi Girl's Square (けもの道☆ガーリッシュスクエア) Review

There was a time when I was really into an artist named 白もち桜. Chinese fans render her name as “白餅桜” — I followed her Twitter account almost as soon as she opened it, and the funny thing is, she followed me back.

That makes her the second artist to follow me, after 茉宮祈芹.

I still think fondly of her characters. The one I liked most was probably ナツイロココロロッグ — the heroine genuinely moved me — and the character she handled in 魔女こいにっき felt like a step up in how the cast was written.

Her characters are mostly faces paired with fangs and gorgeous outfits, and they really do feel girlish. The weakness is obvious too, though: same-face syndrome. Whatever she draws, it’s always the same face.

She went on to work on some newer titles and drew plenty of illustrations, but honestly, I don’t see any real progress. Her characters always end up in the same handful of poses, always flashing their panties, always wearing that same smile…

Gradually I stopped reacting to her characters. 茉宮祈芹, by comparison, spends most of her time drawing high-exposure lewds too, but she can still deliver genuinely appealing characters in actual games — TamaYura Mirai or whatever it was called.

And more importantly, 白もち桜 hasn’t done original art for a galgame in ages. She even streamed once, playing Super Mario — and watching that was enough to spike my blood pressure.

Then recently, out of nowhere, she came back. Partnered with Whirlpool, no less, on a little throwaway title whose name I literally cannot remember. It was something like…

けもの道☆ガーリッシュスクエア

I played it, and my reaction was pure and simple: hard to put into words.

Bluntly: what the hell is this.

The premise is the most worn-out three-piece combo imaginable: lustful beast, magical girl, idol.

Throw in saving the world and you’d have the full set. Wait — doesn’t this game have something like a save-the-world element too?

Oh…

All in all, the whole thing left me baffled from start to finish. Though given the game’s low price point, I figure Whirlpool wasn’t expecting much from the story either — they were selling the artist’s lewds.

As you can see, the lewds this time are by 白もち桜. And how are they…

Emmm…

Frankly, zero improvement.

I genuinely don’t get why so many female artists think ero art has to mean maximum exposure. Look at this game’s character designs — every single one is absurdly exposed. High-cut magical girl dresses, tits bigger than the characters’ heads, and after a while it’s just visual fatigue. Sometimes “sexy” isn’t about exposure at all — it’s about restraint, about showing just enough.

Compared to these characters who look like hostesses at a nightclub, I miss the female teacher 白もち桜 drew back in 魔女こいにっき (not that I have a thing for teachers). A modest skirt paired with a bewildered expression — that genuinely made my heart skip.

Not that this game has zero designs like that. The pervert who dreams of swimming in the Ganges is one.

I should also mention the production, which is penny-pinching taken to the extreme. Most conversations are just a single static CG getting zoomed in and out over and over.

They wouldn’t even bother putting up a sprite for dialogue!

I don’t feel like saying much more. Story, systems, production — none of it won me over, and the main selling point, the lewds, did nothing for me either. Too much exposure reads as cheap; it kills any urge to fall in love. Even when it comes to making the girls cute, the main artist gets outdone by ぺろ on the SD CGs!

As the title of this post says: ero isn’t nudity. It’s the tease of wanting it and holding back. If the ero doesn’t hold back, the eroge has no meaning.

Oh, right — where can I buy that 9000-yen big hard drive from this game? Give me the store address, thanks.