Seiso de Majime na Kanojo ga, Saikyou Yarisa ni Kanyuu Saretara...? (清楚で真面目な彼女が、最凶ヤリサーに勧誘されたら…?) Review

Goddammit, ever since I started playing eroge I’ve learned a bunch of words that never showed up in any textbook. Stuff like yarichin, yariman, and then a while back I ran into yarisā. I’m sitting there wondering what the hell a yarisā even is, and of course I had to look it up, and of course that cost me an entire night of my youth.

Everyone knows (don’t even say you don’t, I won’t believe you) that yariman is the word for a slut, and yarichin is the male version (hell, I don’t know what the good Chinese equivalent is, you can’t exactly call it “black foreskin”), so by analogy, yarisā is a sā of dare demo yareru, where sā is, of course, sākuru—circle in English—which in Japanese katakana means a “club” or “circle.” So put it together and a yarisā is a circle where anyone can get laid, or to spell it out plainly, a “hookup orgy club.”

And while I was looking up yarisā, I found a couple of explanatory posts on Quora. That’s when I learned this word has way more going on under the hood than I thought.

Quora: Some scandals involving Japanese university students Quora: Why do Japanese tennis clubs have such a bad reputation?

So it turns out a lot of male students at Japanese universities form clubs in groups with the goal of banging girls, and most of these clubs are nominally tennis clubs. On paper they’re tennis clubs, but the training camps they organize are all about getting girls drunk, drugging the booze, and not stopping until everyone’s wasted. Some girls show up to university not knowing what’s going on, get pulled in, and after the event the upperclassmen get them drunk and drag them off to fuck. Some quit after one time, some get hooked, and most don’t go to the police because the upperclassmen in these clubs are seriously good-looking! Anyway, Japan—including Waseda University—apparently has these clubs and this kind of debauchery going on, and reading about it made me…

So jealous, right?!

No wait, I mean I’m jealous of how popular those club guys are with the girls, I’m definitely not saying I’m jealous of the hooking up!

The most legendary figure in all these yarisā incidents has to be this guy!

Shin’ichirō Wada, ladies and gentlemen.

Literally the role model of the hookup world, a guy who turned hooking up into an industry and ran the whole supply chain himself.

See that? He got so deep into hooking up that even pimps couldn’t compare. And this piece of human garbage got expelled from school more than once.

And then he fucking studied his way back in!

Came back and went right back to his old tricks. Absolutely insane. In China that’d be like someone casually acing the national college entrance exam and landing in a top-tier national university!

And in the end the guy did get brought down. A girl finally went to the police and said he raped her. So handsome guys aren’t reliable forever after all. My faith in a world where not every girl is shallow is restored!

So this Shin’ichirō Wada and his SUPER FREE hookup orgy club became a hot topic in Japanese society for a while. The whole thing blew up. And along with it, the term “university tennis club” got completely dragged through the mud—plenty of people know the yarisā meme now.

Including some eroge developers!

So Frill, the studio behind Seishōjo and Enjo Kōsai Shōjo, stepped up again with their latest big annual release:

“Seiso de Majime na Kanojo ga, Saikyou Yarisa ni Kanyuu Saretara…?”

(What if my sweet, serious girlfriend got recruited into the worst orgy circle…?)

My Japanese is garbage, so my translation probably isn’t accurate or elegant, and if the meaning’s off don’t complain at me. I translated it so people would know what the title in quotes actually means. And the title being written like that doesn’t mean I have a girlfriend, okay? How the hell would I have a girlfriend? Could a guy with a girlfriend possibly write a brooding blog post every single day?

The game’s file size is pretty hefty—a solid 4 GB—but the actual content is short as hell. The perspective is female, too. Right at the start, the heroine, Miu Oikawa, who has a boyfriend, arrives at university, gets approached by a bunch of dudes whose faces you can’t even see asking if she wants to join a club, and you already know what it is—the yarisā. Soon she’s drinking with them for the first time, and after that Miu gets fucked while drunk, photographed, and threatened. From there it’s one thing after another—she keeps getting blackmailed into sex, sinking deeper, with more photos and evidence piling up. Then they livestream her on Niconico, complete with scrolling comments, and there’s NTR right in front of her sleeping boyfriend. After all that chaotic fucking, in the end our heroine Miu Oikawa gets completely broken, knocked up with her boyfriend thinking the kid is his when he’s actually been cuckolded.

And our heroine Miu Oikawa takes it pretty well: “Sure, I’m promiscuous, I’m lewd, I’ve been defiled, but I still love my boyfriend!”

And then the game just fucking ends!

What the hell kind of game is this, you tell me!

How does a game this short take up 4 GB?!

This game is a pure nukige and nothing else, isn’t it?!

Now I look like some degenerate who plays nukige every day!!

It’s nothing like Seishōjo or Enjo Kōsai Shōjo, which at least had a shred of social relevance and reflection to the story!

It doesn’t even have an OP!

And most importantly!

The story in this game is less interesting than the two Quora threads I read!!

What the hell is even the point of this game?! There are only a few music tracks, the CG reuse is through the roof, no animated sprites, no E-Mote, and only the main heroine has a voice actress—nothing else. This is the first time I’ve seen a game worse than that nukige from the poop studio!

Frill, what happened to you?!

Did you fall apart just because Koizumi Amane-sensei went off to draw non-nukige?!

Anyway, there’s no reason to play this game at all. You’d have more fun reading those two Quora threads than playing it!

I’ve typed “fucking” so many times it’s not even funny!!

Goddammit, I couldn’t even get a single screenshot from this game that didn’t need censoring! Aaaaaaah!

AAAAAAAAH!