Kung Pao Chicken (Northern Style)

Kung Pao Chicken is a famous dish, and plenty of people love it.

But there are actually two versions of this thing. One is the northern version, the one that spread the widest—supposedly tweaked by Shandong cuisine. That’s the one you get with peanuts, cucumber, diced carrot, and the chicken itself.

What’s the original, then? The original is the Sichuan version. No extra cucumber or diced carrot, the chicken has to be thigh meat rather than breast, and the finished dish shows only chicken—none of that other stuff.

Of course I’m not making the original. Maybe next time, if I get the chance. After all, Sichuan and Chongqing are full of perverts and gays, and to show off my northern traits as a non-pervert non-gay, I’ll make the northern version of kung pao chicken.

It’s actually pretty simple to make. First, dice the chicken. I was lazy and used breast meat—but if you use breast, you have to cut it small. At first my mom said it shrinks when heated. Shrinks my ass.

After dicing, marinate it in cornstarch and Shaoxing wine, then you can keep chopping the rest.

Dice the cucumber, dice the carrot, dice the green pepper, get the peanuts ready, cut the scallions into sections, slice the garlic, shred the ginger.

Heat the wok on low, add a big spoonful of doubanjiang. Some people say you have to use doubanjiang from some county in Shandong for it to release red oil—honestly, doesn’t matter. Once the doubanjiang is a bit hot, add scallion, ginger, and garlic, then the dried chilies, and stir-fry. When it smells good, switch to medium heat and add the chicken. Once the chicken just starts to change color, add vinegar, then sugar roughly matching the vinegar, and a little MSG. Most importantly, after the MSG goes in, add a bit of Sichuan peppercorn.

Once it’s hot, add your cucumber, carrot, peanuts, and green pepper, plus a splash of Shaoxing wine.

Finally, thicken with a starch slurry and plate it.

All in all, there’s room for improvement this time. First, the chicken wasn’t diced small enough, and second, the doubanjiang wasn’t the kind that releases red oil.

But damn, it tasted good! I think mine’s way better than what the hospital cafeteria makes.