As someone who slacks off at work, I can’t function without music. I used to listen to tunes on my JVC SR500 headphones, but unfortunately my desk is right by the door, and the boss is always walking past, criticizing me for wearing headphones at work and saying it looks bad. Fine, I figured I’d switch to something low-key—an earbud. Considering I’ve been listening to a ton of fripside lately and really love that thumping bass, I went looking for a tiny thing with strong low end. I skipped the Beats that would’ve boosted my clout and ended up buying the KOSS Spark Plug—the legendary “spark plug.” Of course, all that above is bullshit—I just wanted to buy something. Life itself is meaningless; only buying things lets you understand the true meaning of life.