Confucius, Jesus, Guang Liang and Shinjou Yuu all said it: “first love is infinitely beautiful.” Especially in Japan, a country with an especially deep complex about “初めて” (the first time), “first love” means a sweeter, more awkward, even slightly painful memory you can’t stop chewing on. “First love” is the first time someone’s heart stirs, the first time they taste what romance is, the first time they start to mature emotionally and learn the playbook. After going through it, a person might turn into a smooth operator or a cynical old hand who no longer gets moved by the simple stuff. Seen that way, first love really is precious.

I was already suspicious of Hatsukoi Sankai-me from the moment I saw the promo material. The title literally means “third-time first love.” First love is supposed to emphasize the first, right? Once you’re past the first time, the second one can’t be called a first love anymore. So how the hell do you get three of them? I wasn’t interested in the game to begin with. The promo looked whatever, the lead heroine was voiced by Sendai-baasan, and I didn’t recognize anyone else in the cast. The only reason I wanted to play it was the little sister voiced by Uehara Aoi… And no, I’m not a siscon. I need to make that clear. What I didn’t expect was that after playing it, it actually exceeded my expectations. Hell, it might be the first game this year I’ve seen that “gets its story completely straightened out.” At the very least it’s at the level of a good title, right? The only real mystery for me was why the protagonist’s romance is called a “third first love.” Honestly, I went in expecting the game to give me a proper explanation.

First off, my coworkers, friends, and classmates basically have no idea I spend my time like some kind of hopeless wreck bingeing Japanese porn games. If they have to understand it at all, they just figure I’m watching anime and playing Japanese RPGs. Honestly they know squat about Japanese adult games — to them it’s all at the level of things like Tail Strike and Artificial Girl. Of course, there was one adult game whose name they all learned recently… Purely x Cation. Thanks to Ali213, thanks to the diligent reposting by sites like Chunan Beta, the news that “a Japanese adult game maker will use industry-leading Denuvo DRM to fight piracy” became common knowledge. I know AKBsoft president Kei Misumi hates piracy, but this whole putting-the-cart-before-the-horse move is something I really can’t understand. Honestly, when Purely x Cation was first being promoted, I watched the Youtube intro and thought it looked pretty good — the E-mote effects especially were spot-on, way above some things like Maitetsu. But the president always rushes out to flex and beg to get slapped down. Last time that game The Office Worker’s Hookup… oh no, Romance Situation got cracked half a day after release and slapped him in the face, and I felt kind of bad for him, but this time he comes out provoking people again and I really don’t know what to say. Doesn’t he know the way to make real money is to keep your head down? Besides, I had actually considered buying the legit version of this game, because Denuvo isn’t that easy to crack — if it really came out and I couldn’t play it, that’d be a shame. But then I looked at the bonus items on the game’s official site and I was speechless. Apart from one illustration there was basically nothing. I don’t know if the president spent all the money on the DRM. Given the well-known fact that “buying the game = buying the bonuses,” the president is still this stingy — how could this game possibly sell? Even someone like me, dying to play it, lost most of the desire to buy… I figured if there’s no crack, then just leave it, deal with it later. But reality is dramatic: two days after release the game got dumped and cracked. The cracker was quite smug about it too, saying the game didn’t use Denuvo at all, and the crack just bypassed the so-called online authentication. After all, this is a nukige with one of those engines everyone’s seen to death… Anyway, the president got slapped again. I don’t know what the president is thinking now. I just hope it doesn’t affect future games — adding more bonuses is the real way to go. So back to Purely x Cation itself: how is it? I can say it does live up to the promotional expectations — a romance-raising game that lets you experience the beauty of first love.