For a long time—well, no, more like recently—I’ve been mulling over one question: What exactly is it that makes me unable to get a girlfriend, and makes every arranged date blow up in my face? After turning it over and over, there’s only one answer: I’m bad at picking up girls. And with a determination to get to the bottom of things, it’s worth digging further—why am I bad at it, and what the hell do I need to do to get good?