When I was a kid, my father would rigorously review my homework—essays above all. By “review” I mean I had to show him my essays first, he’d give suggestions for revision, and only once he was satisfied and I’d done enough editing could I hand it in. Pretty unreasonable, right? A very paternalistic approach, right? But every coin has two sides—luckily my father happened to be a decent writer himself, so a lot of his feedback was actually useful. The thing I remember most is what he said about narrative essays. Sometimes he’d flat-out call my writing “boring”—meaning it gave you no desire to keep reading. “You should give your story ups and downs, maybe even suspense, so people will want to keep going.” “But the thing I’m writing about was just boring.” I think it was about giving up my seat to an old lady—“A Meaningful Event.” “You can arrange the story a bit—like, you give up your seat but she flat-out refuses to sit at first, and only later explains she thinks she’s not that old yet, or something…” “But that’s just making stuff up…” “And giving up your seat isn’t making stuff up? Have you ever actually given up your seat?” “…………”

I’m not an NTR fan and I honestly can’t wrap my head around how NTR fans think. Still, Japanese eroge are packed with NTR subject matter, for better or worse. NTR here doesn’t mean what grade-schoolers mean by “the girl you like doesn’t like you, she likes someone else.” It’s 寝取る — and the meaning is simple: your wife, your spouse, your lover, your girlfriend got slept with by someone else. Put plainly, you got cuckolded. Even if you’ve spent years lurking Reddit, ACFUN, the greening street, and the Thunder Bluff of 5ch, I’ve never once seen a guy discover he’s been cuckolded and feel happy about it. So yeah, the NTR fan mindset is hard to get. And yet NTR games keep coming out. Plenty of companies make them, some even set up a dedicated brand just for NTR titles to chase that specialist credibility. Like this one, Houkago ni Midareru Ane Kyoushi to Tonari no Heya de Aegu Imouto (放課後に乱れる姉教師と隣の部屋で喘ぐ妹 ～恋人になった女の子が、知り合いの嫌な男に寝取られる～), which bills itself as a standard NTR game.

I’ve never had hemorrhoids, so I have no idea how much they hurt. And since I’ve never had them, I don’t really get how you’re supposed to treat them either. Someone told me it’s basically your asshole rotting, and only suppositories will do… okay, maybe that’s crude, but it’s the truth. Internal, external, mixed — I never bothered learning the difference, which is why I’m saying all this: I genuinely don’t know whether a person can shove a suppository up their own butt. And since I don’t know that, some game premises just leave me lost… like this one, Nukige Imouto ga Ji ni Natta node Zayaku o Irete Yatta Ken (妹が痔になったので座薬を入れてやった件).

Not long after Corona Blossom wrapped up, Vol.2 got announced. Not really a surprise — the series was billed as three volumes from the start. The funny part is that Corona Blossom launched in Japan a month after Steam, meaning Steam got it first. Same for Vol.2: a galgame with a Japanese release slated for November, and it hits Steam ahead of schedule. Gotta hand it to them. Vol.1 didn’t score well on ErogameScape. Most of the complaints were that the story doesn’t go anywhere, the slice-of-life is boring, splitting it into volumes is shameless, etc. And honestly? Fair. These days if your eroge doesn’t have a shrine maiden with a deep grudge, or an idol restoring a fallen nation, or a cursed katana you can bang, or a train module you can bang, who the hell cares? Standard developments are played out. A lump of metal falls from the sky, goes duang, and turns into a cat-eared girl — light novels were doing that ten years ago. All tropes, bruh.

I got into HookSoft games pretty early — back when I was still a virgin. I remember the one I played was called HoneyComing. I actually found it on the school FTP out of boredom, and it was one of those green install versions with no translation. I couldn’t understand the text back then, but the game did have a manga scanlated by Sumisora! I flipped through it out of boredom. Fortunately the setup was simple enough that after reading the manga, I could roughly follow the dialogue from the tone, the character sprites, and the occasional kanji. Something about an idiot protagonist taking a class on how to pick up girls at school… all that nonsense. I do remember there was this one girl with a chopstick stuck in her hair who was pretty cute. I liked her. Can’t remember her name now — something-gaya, I think. Anyway, I thought the game was pretty good at first. Mostly because the art was nice and the girls were cute. I wasn’t watching much anime back then, but this game really sparked something in me — activated my inner moe pig genes, I guess. Kind of nostalgic to think about. Oh, and it was definitely the 18+ version. First time I saw a girl gobbling down mosaic censorship, it scared the shit out of me so hard my dick got hard. Took me a while to calm down. But time flies. Nearly ten years later, that virgin who first touched a Hook game has grown up into an old virgin. Really makes you sigh — Time flies, huh. Though I don’t know why my eyes are watering as I sigh…

Play enough visual novels and you start to notice patterns. For instance, most visual novel plots follow the same trajectory when it comes to love: the girl has feelings for the guy, keeps them bottled up, and every time she’s about to say something, the protagonist plays dumb, she stays reserved, he keeps wandering around blind, until some specific event happens, he realizes he’s actually in love with her, confesses, they date, they fuck, End. Honestly, that formula is pretty standard, and there’s nothing wrong with it. But even if salted tofu pudding is delicious, even if five-kernel mooncakes are tasty, you eat them year after year, month after month, day after day, and you’ll eventually get sick of them. So some visual novel companies started throwing in all sorts of weird shit: the girl isn’t human but a god, the girl gets tortured to death, the setting is in the future, the setting is in the past, time travel here, changing the future there~ And so on and so forth. Over time, the original meaning of “Galgame” as a shorthand for “Girl and Love Game” has become a bit of a misnomer. No wonder foreigners always call these things “visual novels.” Some stories have literally become novels, but even then, they still slap an 18+ sticker on the label, just to attract more people, forcibly stuffing in so-called “romance elements” that don’t fit, and while they’re at it, throwing in some sex scenes, hoping to lure in more players—at least those who don’t care about the story and just want to see fucking—to contribute a few more sales.