I forget when Xiaomi put out these earphones. Launch price was 999, then all of a sudden I noticed they’d been cut in half to 499, and before long you could pick them up on eBay for 299… From 999 down to 299. These things lose value fast. And this is supposedly a kickass “dual dynamic” + “dual balanced armature” setup. Mine came from eBay, listed as brand new. What showed up was a plain box with the earphones, some spare silicone tips, and even a mysterious “Bluetooth adapter” of unknown provenance (turns out that was in the original package too, for phones without a headphone jack). The stock silicone tips are genuinely badly sized — way too big. They leak sound, which is why I kept thinking something was wrong with the sound at first. Switched to one size smaller and the problem went away.

I’ve been out of the audiophile game for years, but I talked to some young folks recently and they told me domestic Chinese “mysticism” products are nothing like they used to be. By “nothing like they used to be” they mean flagship prices have shot through the roof — I have zero interest in that — and the low end has gotten “even stronger.” “Moondrop” is the brand the kids keep bringing up. I’d heard of it, but other than noticing they’re pretty deep in the anime thing, I had no real impression. So by chance I got my hands on a Moondrop “Quarks,” supposedly their honest-to-goodness entry-level model. Say what you will, the packaging is actually decent, and it even comes with a card I have no idea what to do with. Some kind of coupon, I think. The earpieces are genuinely tiny. Tiny and nicely made — the material is plastic, but it doesn’t feel obviously cheap. What confuses me is I can’t tell which of the red and black ones is left and which is right. Conventionally red should be the right, right?

I don’t know when the “YuanDao” meme blew up, but by the time I noticed, it was everywhere. What is “YuanDao”? A flathead earbud that ships for 9.9 with free shipping (sometimes even less). I was already familiar with this kind of product, because back in the day it wasn’t called “YuanDao” but something like “Diving Expert,” so at first I figured it was just a “budget Diving Expert.” Later, as the YuanDao meme took off, my curiosity about it grew a bit: Is this thing really that amazing? Plenty of people, I’m sure, ended up trying YuanDao the same way I did — by accident. I got my hands on YuanDao a month ago. The price was great — 9.9 with free shipping, I think, and they knocked 4 yuan off, so it cost me less than 6. I’ve been listening to these earbuds on and off for about a month. Not that many times, honestly, but not few either. Quick impressions:

Once again, my hands got itchy. This one was for use at the office, so obviously I couldn’t buy anything too nice, and the budget couldn’t be too high either. So I found this on Taobao. It claims to be an RHA CL750, some kind of “factory surplus stock,” but the price is obviously suspicious — only 150 yuan.

After buying FiiO’s Bluetooth over-ear headphones last time and liking them, I’ve finally started buying FiiO earphones too. The reason I bought this was purely my hands acting on their own. By the time I came to my senses, the order was already placed. Of course, the main factor in that impulse was the discount being too big to resist. The first-batch preorder was 30 yuan cheaper, with six interest-free installments, plus a free cable if you posted a review. Basically 100 yuan off. The earphones arrived pretty fast, and unboxing them was full of that typical FiiO “pile on the extras” vibe. It came with a bunch of accessories — a case, a pouch, everything you’d expect. But what we care about is the earphones themselves. As a certified fat otaku, purple was the obvious choice.

A few days ago while aimlessly browsing the web, I came across this article: The highest-sound-quality earphones in history, now only 20 yuan At the time it felt pretty badass, and also pretty bullshit, so I figured—I may not be as rich as Old Wu the Second, but 20 yuan is something I can grit my teeth and fork over, so I decided to test for myself whether it’s really that magical.

I know the manufacturer Songri (Matsunichi) — back in school I was really into Pocket PCs, and there was a company with that name at the time, they made Pocket PCs. The specs were nothing special but the price was cheap, so it stuck with me. I never actually bought anything from them in the end. Years later, the next time I hear the name, it’s these pack-in earbuds.

If you search Quora for “what headphones are good,” you’re bound to come across a brand called Superlux. I’d never heard of this brand before, and probably nobody else had either, but there are just a ton of people on Quora hyping it up. Most importantly, it’s cheap—only 78 yuan, and shipping is fucking free. A while back I stopped even going on blind dates, felt empty inside, and just started buying shit. I’d sworn off buying audiophile-mysticism products, but I just wanted to see whether Superlux was all hype or not. Ordered on JD.com, said it ships from JD, but it still got third-party treatment. Anyway, it arrived. I listened to it for about a week, on and off. Not long, but I basically get it now—why people hype this thing, and why it’s so cheap.

I’m not really interested in Tongque’s earphones, but I do enjoy watching their founder pick fights with people on X (Twitter). Honestly, the way he goes after people is pretty on point — some folks really are that dumb and deserve it. I didn’t want to buy a Tongque earphone, though, because word was the sound was pretty mediocre. Then I saw the founder announce the new EN700 Pro in red and black, 12 months interest-free, and his line “if the sound’s bad, you can hit me.” So I bought one on impulse.

I’ve bought plenty of cheap earphones — the Edifier H293P, the Amazon Fire Phone stock earbuds, the QianShui 39, the QianShui 25 — and they all broke. Yeah, all of them. Some cracked, some snapped, some got mysteriously eaten away by liquid. Not sturdy at all. My main use for them is leaving a pair by the bed plugged into my tablet. I don’t listen to music, I just game with them, so you could call them sleep earphones. But these things just don’t hold up. The only two that survived any abuse were Apple’s EarPods and the Xiaomi Hybrid. That said, the EarPods sound kind of muddy and don’t seal that well, so the ones I actually used most were the Xiaomi Hybrids. Right, the original Hybrid that sold for 99 yuan. My verdict back then was it’s not as bad as people say — it’s at least a proper hybrid driver, and the sound is passable for games. Then my dad asked me for a phone — he had a Redmi Note 4 — so I ended up giving him the Hybrids. But out with the old, in with the new. I happened to see Xiaomi had released a Pro version, so I just bought it. That was back in November last year.