Foreword: Around the end of last year, I got handed a weird task: deploy a server with a specific function, using an old decommissioned machine from work. What I didn’t expect was that this one task would drag on for half a year, on and off. It wasn’t urgent—more of a “nice to have, whatever if not” situation—so it didn’t really affect my actual job. But the deployment hit a ton of potholes, ran into what looked like hardware failure, got some unexpected “expert guidance,” and the solution went through more twists than a soap opera. I wanted to give up multiple times, but for some reason I kept going. I don’t even know why. So I figured I’d write it down—maybe it’ll help someone with a similar experience. Let me get the disclaimers out of the way first, so the smartasses don’t come jumping in: Don’t ask me if this kind of server is even worth it. Don’t say “just throw more money at XXX and be done with it.” Don’t say “stop messing with e-waste.” Don’t say “this setup isn’t secure.” I know all this better than you. Just treat it as me having fun.