Actually at first I was against buying these earphones… But I just couldn’t resist the shape. They look really good. And I was also very curious — no wait, curious (why the hell does that keep autocorrecting…). Plenty of forum kids absolutely trashed this earphone, going on about “boomy,” “hard to drive,” “bottom-heavy,” “nothing but bass.” In my experience, whatever audio mystics on forums say, you should read it backwards. I also checked a review by 盖子 on Reddit and, with a clear head, went ahead and bought them. I’m a low-key guy. The K374’s brushed metal is flashy, but to stay true to my low-key nature I steered clear of the showy silver and bought the wine red. Then I bought it on JD for 499 with a -50 coupon, and the very night it arrived the price dropped to 399… I agonized over it for a while. I don’t care about that little bit of money and I didn’t want to bother returning and re-buying, but no matter how I looked at it, it felt like JD had screwed me. “Fuck you, Liu Qiangdong!” I raised my middle finger once again, venting my anger helplessly.

As someone who slacks off at work, I can’t function without music. I used to listen to tunes on my JVC SR500 headphones, but unfortunately my desk is right by the door, and the boss is always walking past, criticizing me for wearing headphones at work and saying it looks bad. Fine, I figured I’d switch to something low-key—an earbud. Considering I’ve been listening to a ton of fripside lately and really love that thumping bass, I went looking for a tiny thing with strong low end. I skipped the Beats that would’ve boosted my clout and ended up buying the KOSS Spark Plug—the legendary “spark plug.” Of course, all that above is bullshit—I just wanted to buy something. Life itself is meaningless; only buying things lets you understand the true meaning of life.